There are desserts you bake because you’re trying to impress someone. And then there are desserts you bake because you just need something unholy and sweet in your life.
Knock You Naked Bars fall squarely into the second category. They’re not subtle. They’re not dainty. They’re loud, gooey, rich, and more dangerous than replying to a “you up?” text at 2 a.m. But honestly? They’re worth every sticky bite.
Here’s what happened when I made them — and why you should too. Oh, and yes, you’ll find the full recipe below (because I love you like that).
But First… What ARE Knock You Naked Bars?
Imagine a thick, buttery cookie base. Now drown that in gooey caramel. Then drop a generous avalanche of chocolate chips on top. Then add more cookie dough. Bake. Cool (try to wait). Slice. Try not to pass out from happiness.
They’re decadent. They’re chaotic. And once you try them, you may question every other dessert you’ve ever loved.
THE OFFICIAL, UNHINGED RECIPE: Knock You Naked Bars
Ingredients
For the Crust & Topping:
- 1 box German chocolate cake mix (15.25 oz)
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
- 1/3 cup evaporated milk
- 1 large egg (optional, but helps with texture)
For the Caramel Filling:
- 1 (14 oz) bag of wrapped caramels (approx. 50 pieces)
- 1/3 cup evaporated milk
For the Chocolate Layer:
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or go rogue with dark/milk/peanut butter chips)
Instructions: Aka The Road to Ruin (And Glory)
1. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C).
Grease a 9×13 inch baking pan. Line with parchment paper if you want easier lifting later (you do).
2. Make the crust & topping.
In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, melted butter, and evaporated milk (plus the egg, if using). Stir until well blended — it’ll be thick like cookie dough.
Press half the dough into the bottom of your prepared pan.
Set the other half aside (this will be your topping).
3. Bake the base layer.
Pop the crust into the oven and bake for 8–10 minutes. It’ll puff slightly but not be fully baked — that’s okay!
4. While that bakes… melt your caramel.
Unwrap those stubborn little squares (a meditation exercise, truly), and place them in a saucepan with the 1/3 cup evaporated milk.
Stir constantly over low-medium heat until smooth and glossy. Don’t let it burn!
5. Pour caramel over the partially baked crust.
Spread it evenly, let it seep into all the corners. Accept the fact that your kitchen now smells criminally good.
6. Sprinkle the chocolate chips.
Just toss ’em on. Be generous. This is not the time to hold back.
7. Crumble the remaining dough on top.
Use your fingers to break it into chunks and scatter them like sweet little nuggets of joy.
8. Bake again.
Return to the oven and bake for 20–25 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and set. The caramel may bubble around the edges — that’s your sign from the dessert gods.
9. Let them cool COMPLETELY.
I know. It’s hard. But if you try to cut them warm, you’ll end up with a sticky lava mess. Delicious, yes. Pretty, no. Let them set at room temp for a few hours or pop them in the fridge for faster results.
How to Serve (aka Knock ‘Em Out Cold)
Classic
Just slice and serve. Gooey centers, melty chocolate, golden tops.
Warm + Ice Cream
Microwave for 10 seconds and add vanilla ice cream. (Prepare to ascend.)
Extra Chocolate Drizzle
Melt more chocolate chips with a splash of cream and drizzle that magic on top.
From Someone Who Now Hides These From Herself
You know how some desserts are “just okay” and you forget about them? Yeah. These aren’t that. These are the ones your friends beg you to make again. The ones that make your jeans tight and your heart full. The ones you cut into “small squares” but eat five of anyway.
Knock You Naked Bars don’t just steal the show — they kick the door down and demand an encore. So go ahead. Bake recklessly. Love boldly. And maybe, just maybe… don’t share.
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